Extroverted you say?

In a workshop the other day, we were asked to do an exercise where we classified or labelled one another in a bunch of different ways. One of the questions asked if we were introverts or extroverts. My partner and I agreed to put aside the whole teacher hat making us extroverts in the classroom and tried to work with our own natural tendencies.

My partner described me as a former introvert turned extrovert over the past year. I don't know why this surprised me as much as it did. In the classroom I am definitely forced to take charge and play the extrovert but in all other ways I think of myself as introverted.

I'm 7 months into coaching, I still think of myself as a private person. I am most definitely shy and I very much still struggle with that as I continue to push myself to post about my workouts, my struggles and even my victories. Posting about my recent health obstacles and my struggle to stay on track was hard. But at the same time, one of the things I've enjoyed (?) and found most challenging about coaching is that it's pushed me outside of my comfort zone time and time again.

Yes, I could continue on the way I was but if I want to reach people, I know that I need to be willing to put myself out there and be public with my journey. It's both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I do feel validated every day in my decision to keep pushing myself when I hear from my friends or challengers that they are inspired to roll out of bed knowing that I'm up too. When I can admit that I'm struggling with food or workouts or life, and others can relate and know they're not alone, it's worth it. The support I received from friends far and wide for my last post was just another reason it's worth it. I so appreciate your support. It's been a long road to get to where I'm at with being comfort.

While I love that social media allows me to be in touch and stay in touch with friends far and wide, it is also all too often superficial. We can manipulate what we choose to share. I can take 10 pictures and decide which one I like enough to post. I can choose how much I want to engage or share with others. 

That choice of what and how much to share is in my hands and if we're honest, it rarely represents a full picture of our world. We post the good pictures, share about the major life milestone and victories and keep quiet about our struggles. 

I get this - I was that person who formerly used social media to stay in touch with old friends and occasionally post a few pictures of the kids to share with friends and family who don't live nearby. It was what I was comfortable with and it worked for me to share that little, controlled piece of myself with the world.

So what the heck has happened to me over the past 7 months? 

Well, I've made the conscious and repeated effort to put myself out there more. To try out this whole extroverted thing and test the waters a bit. It was terrifying at first. 

I make the choice daily to try to be more honest, more vulnerable, to share BOTH my accomplishments and my failures. We all have them so why not share them? It's not like we don't all know this but yet we choose to stay quiet. 

This is just one of the reasons why challenge groups work. As one of my challengers shared in a group today, the anonymity of "virtual friends" makes it possible to be open about the things that we struggle with and to get the support that we all know we need and crave to be successful. I completely understand why we keep these things to ourselves yet the downside to our keeping these things close to the vest is that we then miss out on the support of a community. 

It's been a challenge to push my introverted self out of my shell but the benefits of that discomfort have been immeasurable. 

• I've made new friends and remade old friends (if that makes sense.) Old friends, former roommates & colleagues, my fellow coaches, my challengers, and even friends of friends who have been drawn into challenge groups now on the recommendations of friends have all come into my life in new ways. I know that without my willingness to take the leap of faith a few months ago, they wouldn't be here in my life in this way. 

• Even though I do still think of myself as an introvert most of the time, I am more comfortable in my own skin. 

• I second guess myself less. It takes me less time to think about what I want to say and then decide if I'm really going to say it. I'm also more willing to share the good and the bad with the world and in my groups without worrying so much about the repercussions.

So there you have it. Random musings of a former (and still kind of there) introvert. Thanks for listening!