Getting vulnerable

I posted yesterday about the need to accept our own imperfections and be willing to embrace our vulnerability as a path to happiness. In the words of Brene Brown,

In the spirit of this message, I'm putting myself out there. It's hard to admit when we need help. It's hard to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It's even harder to put ourselves out there to the world but I'm doing what I can to do this more and more every day with every post. Just a few short months ago I would have balked at the idea of posting daily on Facebook. I would never have thought I'd have it in me to write a blog of my own. I would have NEVER posted a sweaty workout picture, let alone a video of myself working out. Yet look how far we can come in a few short months!

In the spirit of vulnerability, I'm pushing myself further. I know I'm not alone in my struggle to get my body back after having kids. It's so hard when you give your body over to little people for so many months/years to reclaim it afterwards. Everyone always says you never get your body back, right? I've heard it a million times. Well I reject that way of thinking. I'm walking proof. I'm in better shape now in many ways than I was before having kids. I eat healthier and make more informed choices on a daily basis. I may not be able to best my erg time from college (or maybe I could if I gave it a try) but I work out more consistently and with a far greater sense of purpose and fulfillment than I ever did before having kids. So I say it IS possible to get your body back. 

What is also possible is to admit the areas in which we still struggle. Where we still see a need for growth. 

I am still my own worst enemy. I still strive to be better, to do more every day than I need to do, and to do better in everything I do. My perfectionist tendencies still drive me to exhaustion most days. I still struggle every day to accept that my best IS good enough. Intellectually I know that it is but physically and emotionally accepting that is a whole other thing.

Despite the fact that I'm a part-time health and fitness coach, I don't yet have the body I want. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the body that I have, but for me, it's still a work in progress. I'm still working to get there. 

I can see measurable gains over the past year which keeps me motivated and working hard every day. I may not have had the most radical of transformations. I may only have lost 5 lbs. on the scale but that's ok. I have lost inches, yes inches. I have gain muscle, lots and lots of muscle. I can now do 2 pull-ups where a few months ago I could do none. These are all changes that I can see in the past year. I've also made strides, I'm sure, in areas I can't see. I've made my body healthier overall, I've given myself an outlet for stress and I've found friends and supporters in the most unexpected places.

What's left you ask? What's missing? Well to be honest, abs. I WANT ABS! Part of this is my OCD talking and my desire to have the full package. I've talked before about how I've never wanted that skinny girl body - I want the athletic, strong, ripped body. But another part of my quest for abs is that I NEED to know that I can get the body that I want if I keep working towards it. I want to inspire. I want other people like me, moms or not, to know that at 37 or 27 or 67, you can work hard, be committed and see change on the inside and out.

Where I am at today is a great place to be and yet I'm working hard for more.

This is me today. These are the abs and legs that I've busted my butt to get. These are the abs that 30 days from now will be stronger, more defined and rocking a bikini on the beach with my family at Thanksgiving. Just you wait... I'm going to do this!