My journey

When I started this journey to get healthy 2 years ago, I was struggling. The thing was, not a lot of people knew it because I hid it well. I probably looked happy on the surface because on the surface I had everything I wanted – 3 healthy kids, a husband who loves me and a job that is truly my dream job. The thing was, I was scared to admit out loud that I was struggling for fear that I would seem ungrateful but I was missing something. I LOVED those pieces of my life but at the same time, I was also lonely, tired, stressed and unhappy.

Looking back now, I can see how I was going through the motions. I was worried to admit out loud that I was hyper-focused on the weight that I wasn’t able to lose after I had Parker. I was racing around trying to be supermom and superteacher and at the end of the day, there was no way to do both perfectly. Not to mention the fact that by trying to be amazing at those two jobs, there was literally no time left in the equation for me. AND to make it worse, I still always had this nagging feeling that even with ignoring myself, I STILL wasn’t giving my kids or my job my best because I was trying to do too much and be perfect at everything. And let’s not talk about how much energy was expended trying to keep up the happy exterior itself because god forbid I admit that I was struggling to keep it all up because that would be a sign of weakness. So under the happy exterior that I put on every day was frustration with myself and my body and the constant sense of disappointment that I wasn’t able to give more and be better for my family, my students, and lastly myself.

I’m not going to pretend like I don’t still have those feelings. I love that quote that says “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”

It took me so long to really understand that so much of that sense of frustration, loneliness and disappointment with myself stemmed from the fact I was running myself ragged trying to be there for everyone else and in the process had put myself last.

Yes, it took work to really get to a place where ADDING myself into the mix became something I consistently did, but after a few weeks of consistently doing that, of taking care of myself first, I started to see changes that made me want to keep it up. I had more energy to do all of the stuff I was trying to pack into the day, I was happier, I didn’t lose my cool as often when the kids were driving me up the wall, I ended the day tired for sure but not as physically and emotionally spent as I’d once been. I’m not going to lie, also seeing my clothes start to fit better also had a huge impact on how I felt throughout the day.

So yes, I’m busy. I’m not perfect. I have a 24-7 running to-do list of things some of which may never get done. I have light bulbs that have been out for months in my house and which will probably still be out 6 months from now. I have conservatively 20+ post-it notes with ideas for things that I’d like to do someday to fix up our house, kids closets that have clothes from 2-3 years ago that probably should be cleaned out and given to Goodwill, recipes that are bookmarked for a day when I have nothing but time, a nightstand full of books that I’d love to read someday for pleasure and a dvr que a mile long of shows that may not get watched before next season starts back up. But you know what? Those things don’t matter nearly as much as my kids, my family, and my health so I prioritize the things that I can do each day that keeps the focus on those things.

So why then do I share as much as I do on social media?

Why run these monthly online groups?

Why put more time that I don’t have into a second job?

Why do I feel like I need to post a sweaty selfie at 6AM when I finish my workout?

Because it helps me and my hope is that it helps one of you to know that it’s possible to make time for yourself, to know that it’s ok to ignore the lightbulbs and the to-do list in favor of the things that make your week better, your life better.

My hope is that by sharing my own day-to-day efforts, that I might be able to help someone, even just one person, find inspiration, motivation and power in seeing it happen, to know that that it’s worth it to try and if I’m lucky enough to be there for them, with them to figure out that imperfect balance, all the better.

If you want to join a group of busy, imperfect moms in navigating life, kids, new routines and work this fall, join us for an Imperfectly Balanced online group. No expectation of perfection, just support and tips for helping you find a little time for you in the madness that is fall. Fill out the application below if you want more details:

Fill out my online form.

There are tons of Wufoo features to help make your forms awesome.