Fighting the urge to self-sabotage in the new year

Do you ever find yourself setting goals and then totally self-sabotaging them?

I've been thinking about this a lot this week, partly out of plain old frustration with having done it again, partly in an effort to own my behaviors and to change them. I don't think I'm alone in this. From talking to my friends and challengers I know this is a common struggle. 

It's easy to set goals and hard to do the daily work to achieve them. This time of year most especially, it's easy to get caught up in making resolutions to lose weight, start a new fitness regiment, to get more sleep or something along those lines. The challenging part is sticking it out to achieve them. 

If you look at the studies, they support that we're not alone in setting resolutions to change that we then struggle to achieve. Most people give up on those resolutions right out of the gate. And that's WITH the incentive and clean slate that comes with January 1st. Imagine how much harder it is to mentally rally for a change mid-year!

I see it all the time with my friends but they're not alone in struggling to see their goals through. I know that for myself, every time I see some real progress, whether it's 5 lbs down on the scale or a few inches lost, I somehow psychologically allow it to give me the authority to let my food off of the gas. Health coach or not, I'm no expert. I do it all the time myself. I resolve to make a change, see a little progress, and then I let it slip away from me. 

I HATE that I do this. I've try to psycho-analyze myself and my actions and all I come up with is some sort of rationalization that explains away my actions. 'I don't need to lose weight" "my pants fit fine", "I'm comfortable in my skin", "I don't need to be super restrictive with my diet." All of these reasons that seem valid on the surface, but if I'm honest about it, they're just excuses.

I don't want to just talk the talk. It's also important to me that I do my best to walk the walk. Yes, in an ideal world that would mean that I'd be able to model every day the strategies I suggest to my challengers but if I'm honest about it, some days that's easier than others. Some days I start out with the best of intentions and lose myself somewhere along the way. Other days I'll stay on track until the dreaded after dinner hour and then fall victim to my brain's desire to snack. If I'm conscious about what I'm doing, I'll admit that I'm not really hungry as much as I want the comfort and taste of an after dinner treat. 


I know that I should feel pride in the many changes I've made over the past 2 years and I do, really. I still have work to do though. This is a journey, not a destination after all. 

I know I've got the fitness piece down so it's just a matter of that other, huge area that is food. I've made progress, HUGE progress over where I was two years ago when I first started. I now know what it means to eat clean. I no longer diet or eat low cal or low fat foods simply because I don't know what else to eat. I do my best not to skip meals. I try to follow an 80/20 lifestyle and most of the time, do pretty well at maintaining some semblance of that balance.

While it may have been about getting to a size 6 or breaking the 145 mark on the scale when I first started, I now know that my new goal is more sustainable. It's not about the size 6 as much as it is about a desire to feel good and strong and to be able to button and feel good in my pants. Yes, I do still set physical goals, but they're less driven by a number on the scale and more about how I want to feel in my clothes. When I start a new program, I look at what I can achieve with it and set goals for myself based on that. 

Why admit all of this? Well, it's edging up on resolution season and I'm not giving up on myself or my goals. I'm a fighter. I'm stubborn and even if I know this is my pattern, I'm committed to keep on trying, futile as it may seem at times. 

I have room to improve, as we all do. And I know improvement and the mental fortitude to keep trying is easier with support and I've worked hard to create a support system for myself over the past 2 years. I have my challengers, my fellow coaches, my family and my own coach who like me is a normal person who's been there herself. 

As we move into the new year, I'm continuing on this journey. I'm putting the sweets and cheats of the holiday season behind me and committing wholeheartedly to the next 5 weeks of Hammer & Chisel. I'm also joining a group of amazing challengers and coaches in a 60 day support group so we can all set ourselves up for a strong start to 2016. Fill out the application below if you want to join us, imperfections and all and work together to make this year one of your best yet!

Have a great week!

Fill out my online form.

Use Wufoo templates to make your own HTML forms.